It's Been a While

It has been a while since I last posted and for that I apologize.  Before you continue reading, please know that is not going to be "spiritually correct" or uplifting or anything else - today's post will truly be my heart speaking as I write.  

So I am sure your first question is "how is the adoption going and where are you in the process?".   This is a very valid question and the main reason why I am just now posting.  In one simple word the adoption is SLOW.  Two years ago when we started this journey, we thought the wait time for a referral would be approx. 8 months give or take a month or two.  We honestly thought be Christmas 2011 we would have a baby home and by now life would be moving along.  As you know around July 2011, Ethiopia slammed the brakes on processing adoptions.  They went from processing 100/daily to 3-5/day - a drastic change.  To say we were disappointed is an under statement but we always have trusted in God's timing.   As time progressed we became less proactive in our fundraising and planning.  We daily pray for our child, but we couldn't dwell on the wait - regardless of how frustrating it was or is.

Fast forward to July 2012, and we have officially been waiting a year for our baby.  Thankfully during this time, our family was in Costa Rica for a mission trip working with a church plant there.  This was a wonderful growing time for our family and I am thankful we were there when this "anniversary" came around.  

So here we are today.  We met with our Social Worker today (whom we love) to update our homestudy.  You see after so many months your fingerprints and homestudy have to be updated before they expire.  It was a wonderful meeting and we enjoyed seeing our social worker again, but the meeting came with more discouraging news - wait times for referrals are being increased again.....more waiting!  To say this came to us as a low blow is an understatement once again.  In my own mind I was hopeful for a referral by May 2013 (based on the referrals happening now).  However, due to the longer wait times, it could be July 2013 or later before we hear anything.  

I left our meeting angry and upset.  I am angry that we started the process as late as we did - why didn't we start this years ago since we have always know we were going to adopt?  I am angry and confused because daily I am told and read there are 147 Million orphans in the world, yet we are having to wait 2+ years to have a baby home? I am jealous of other families, adopting from other countries, that have not waited as long as us, that are receiving referrals and soon to be bringing babies home.  I question, did God really call our family to adopt?  These are real feelings and questions that I am dealing with (and I am sure other adoptive families do as well).  

This journey of adoption I knew would never be easy but as a mom of one who desires to mother more children, the wait becomes painful.  This is something I have wanted my whole life and the timing is out of my control so to sit and wait is so hard.  

As I sit here and write this tonight, my heart is still heavy.  I can't wait to receive the call that we have the referral.  I long for the moment that Jonathan, Izzie and I open the email together to see our baby for the very first time.  I live for the day I can wrap my arms around that baby and kiss its forehead.....these are the moments I long for.  But what I long for the most is for the ONE child God has for us.  The one perfect child that only He selected for us even before time began.  The one He knew would be perfect for us and that somehow we would be perfect for.  

Please pray for us as we continue to wait and seek God' plan for our family.  Pray that we will discern God's will for our family as we continue on this adoption journey.  We love each of you and thank you for being on this journey with us - through the highs and the lows.

Here are a few pictures from the past few months just to catch you up on our life:

Mission Trip to Costa Rica

Izzie starts Kindergarten

Izzie turns 6

"One of the greatest strains in life is the strain of waiting on God" Oswald Chambers

Happy New Year! - I guess it is better late than never huh?  I can't believe we are already into the middle of February.  I hope this year so far has been kind to each one of you.


I haven't posted in a while simply because there hasn't been too much to talk about.  Things with the adoption and with life haven't changed and we are still just waiting - waiting on a referral, waiting on our house to sell, waiting on clarity for God's plan for our family.  To be completely honest, I hate to wait.  I like to be in control of situations in my life and with the things going in our family and currently I have no control.  I have no control of the government in Ethiopia, no control over the housing market and frankly no control of God's plan for our family.  If anything God is teaching me personally to stop trying to be in control.


I read an article not too long ago called "God's Will for Your Wait" by Paul Tripp  To say the timing of this article was perfect is a complete understatement.  Tripp points out 5 ways to look at the wait as God doing something rather than a struggle against the wait.


1)Remind yourself that your not alone.  Think about all the people that had to wait years in the bible.  Think about the hundreds of families that are waiting for a child just like we are - we are not alone in this. Waiting is a part of God's plan
2)Realize that the wait is active.  "To be called to wait is to be called to the activity of worship: worshiping God for his presence, wisdom, power, love, and grace. To be called to wait is to be called to the activity of serving: looking for ways to lovingly assist and encourage others who are also being called to wait. To be called to wait is to be called to the activity of praying: confessing the struggles of my heart and seeking the grace of the God who has called me to wait. We must rethink waiting and remind ourselves that waiting is itself a call to action."
3)Let waiting strengthen your faith.  There are three ways your faith can be strengthened through waiting a) by spending time in the Word, b) opening your heart to God for Him to reveal sin, weaknesses and even the struggles of your wait, c)recongize the opportunity to know others better on the same journey as you.
4)Count your blessings.  Instead of reminding yourself what you don't  have, focus on the blessings that you do have.
5)Long for Eternity.  God intends for us to long for home our eternal home.


After reading this article I realized how selfish I am with this whole waiting thing and to be honest I am still selfish with it. There is nothing I want more to bring my baby home - but I want the baby God has for us.  I remind myself daily that had it not been for the wait thus far, I would not have the baby God wants me to have one day.  These challenges, hiccups, bridges or whatever you want to call it, are, in my mind, designed to help in the timing of the perfect little baby God has for us - when I remember this I don't mind the wait.


So we wait.......and will continue to wait until the day our family is complete.......




Until then please pray for us in the following ways:
-that we would use this wait to grow in our relationship with Christ.  That HE would reveal sin, weaknesses and struggles we have in our hearts.
-for clarity as Jonathan and I make other decisions concerning our growing family
-that our home would sell


Thanks for being on this journey with us.