So I am sure your first question is "how is the adoption going and where are you in the process?". This is a very valid question and the main reason why I am just now posting. In one simple word the adoption is SLOW. Two years ago when we started this journey, we thought the wait time for a referral would be approx. 8 months give or take a month or two. We honestly thought be Christmas 2011 we would have a baby home and by now life would be moving along. As you know around July 2011, Ethiopia slammed the brakes on processing adoptions. They went from processing 100/daily to 3-5/day - a drastic change. To say we were disappointed is an under statement but we always have trusted in God's timing. As time progressed we became less proactive in our fundraising and planning. We daily pray for our child, but we couldn't dwell on the wait - regardless of how frustrating it was or is.
Fast forward to July 2012, and we have officially been waiting a year for our baby. Thankfully during this time, our family was in Costa Rica for a mission trip working with a church plant there. This was a wonderful growing time for our family and I am thankful we were there when this "anniversary" came around.
So here we are today. We met with our Social Worker today (whom we love) to update our homestudy. You see after so many months your fingerprints and homestudy have to be updated before they expire. It was a wonderful meeting and we enjoyed seeing our social worker again, but the meeting came with more discouraging news - wait times for referrals are being increased again.....more waiting! To say this came to us as a low blow is an understatement once again. In my own mind I was hopeful for a referral by May 2013 (based on the referrals happening now). However, due to the longer wait times, it could be July 2013 or later before we hear anything.
I left our meeting angry and upset. I am angry that we started the process as late as we did - why didn't we start this years ago since we have always know we were going to adopt? I am angry and confused because daily I am told and read there are 147 Million orphans in the world, yet we are having to wait 2+ years to have a baby home? I am jealous of other families, adopting from other countries, that have not waited as long as us, that are receiving referrals and soon to be bringing babies home. I question, did God really call our family to adopt? These are real feelings and questions that I am dealing with (and I am sure other adoptive families do as well).
This journey of adoption I knew would never be easy but as a mom of one who desires to mother more children, the wait becomes painful. This is something I have wanted my whole life and the timing is out of my control so to sit and wait is so hard.
As I sit here and write this tonight, my heart is still heavy. I can't wait to receive the call that we have the referral. I long for the moment that Jonathan, Izzie and I open the email together to see our baby for the very first time. I live for the day I can wrap my arms around that baby and kiss its forehead.....these are the moments I long for. But what I long for the most is for the ONE child God has for us. The one perfect child that only He selected for us even before time began. The one He knew would be perfect for us and that somehow we would be perfect for.
Please pray for us as we continue to wait and seek God' plan for our family. Pray that we will discern God's will for our family as we continue on this adoption journey. We love each of you and thank you for being on this journey with us - through the highs and the lows.
Here are a few pictures from the past few months just to catch you up on our life:
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| Mission Trip to Costa Rica |
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| Izzie starts Kindergarten |
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| Izzie turns 6 |
The wait is long because there really and truly AREN'T 147 million orphans in the sense that we Westerners view "orphaned"- look on the UNICEF webpage (http://www.childinfo.org/hiv_aids_orphanestimates.php) and you can see that worldwide, the number of children who've lost BOTH parents, or what we consider "orphaned," is 17.8 million, NOT 147 million.
ReplyDeleteAlthough this page is written from a Ugandan adoptive parent, the same applies to other TWC who are involved in international adoption.
That being said, I know this sounds so cynical, but as an African adoptive mother, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE be thankful for the wait. A fast process could mean unethical practices, including child trafficking. Praise the Lord- hopefully your slow process means fact checking is taking place, that orphans aren't being farmed, and that placements are being made that are child-centered (whether with extended family, domestically, or otherwise). Feel free to ask me if you want to know more- our family was ALMOST involved in trafficking, unknowingly. It was horrendous, heartbreaking, and devastating to the poor child (our process, from start to finish, was nine months... sounds like a dream, huh? It actually turned into a nightmare.)
Here is a great perspective on potentially "easy" and unethical adoptions, written from a Ugandan adoptive mother-
Deletehttp://www.familyhopelove.com/on-ugandan-orphans-and-adoption/